Love Letters I'll Never Send....

letter 1

dear Humor -
do you remember when we were young. we thought we had it all figured out. We were our first everything...

we made films, went to screenings, took acting classes together.... We met famous people, and got them to think we were cool. Conan O'Brien told you the story of him and Lisa Kudrow -- how he loved her... and how our relationship reminded him of their relationship... but of course they haven't been together for many years... neither have we.

(by the way - I still get angry when I see Molly Shannon on TV.... )

we had spring in Virginia, summer in Connecticut, and fall in Manhattan.... the winter froze things over and we followed our paths in different directions... but were always still friends.

do you remember the time you taped a rose on my door... do you remember having pneumonia... do you remember me watching you play volleyball on the beach, or in tournaments in Rhode Island... do you remember 2 hours in the shower.... playland, mama-ro-neck, and hanging with your family in Rye.... do you remember screaming out in the middle of 42nd street ..."I love Sarnra! I love this woman..." I was on the phone... and though I was safe in my room at home -I blushed as though I was standing right there.... do you remember how on our last good-bye you cried as much as me... but you gave me a tape and said if I was ever missing you to listen to it.... I still do.... but it is more of a comfort now -- and to remember good times....

I found out how you changed. how you became careless and it made me mad. that someone so good let the outside influence them. your whole person changed.... and it wasn't just a faze... then we never talked again... until 9-11-01. you called me to see how the family was... told me all about yours and how life was going for you. still not the one I remembered... but I was so happy to hear your voice. you were doing comedy in Chicago... and I never heard from you since...

I wonder from time to time where you might be... if you stayed with your talent... I guess could always track you down, but I think I am happier dreaming up your accomplishments then really knowing. Plus, you stay pure in my heart that way... as a warm, fond memory.

.... because its not real anymore....
Love, Sarnra