interesting things you find on the internet.

there is evertything on the web... news: local, national, world to celebrity gossip, fetishes, photos, poetry, religion, music, society, culture, porn, political agendas, how to train your baby, how to train your dog.... Blogs!!! There is just SO much to be found on the interent. Some is brilliant, some is entertaining, some is useful.... a lot is horrid.
so with all that crap floating around out there... with all the people in the world.... how COMPLETELY and UTTERLY strange that i come across a website DEVOTED to a guy i randomly dated in high school?!?!?!? now - this is by no means a "brag"!! This guy hasn't even crossed my mind in about 7 years.

but this girl at work and i are shootin' the shit about music... and she says something like:
"oh i like a lot of country music mostly, but there are some rock or pop bands i like... well like The BlahBlah for example." (Slick, ain't I... the creative way i disguise)

okay - well, I haven't heard of them and i thought i was pretty hip when it came to music - so in some downtime at work i did a search. clicked on a link and there in the picture is this guy i dated in high school for about 2 mths!!
First reaction:
"weird. that guy looks famili... Oh My God - thats 'HornBall'!!"
(yes - i disguised his name too! very slick, eh? ) : )
Second reaction:
"well. good for him! he was a very good musician back in school - so he stuck to it. thats great."
THEN I REMEMBER .... "He was a PRICK!!!!!"
but then i think --- "Well, everyone changes. I am a different person then i was 2 years agao - let alone 7... I shouldn't hold his behavior at the age of 17 over his head. I moved on - I forgot about him... and it..."
and then i think:
"This piece of shit is rich and famous and has all these Got'Danged websites, acclaim, and tours the Got'Danged world.... Whatta Bastard!!"

Because I dont really care... I mean I am not jealous. I stood him up on prom night because i had 'Mono'.... i had my problems too.... BUT IT IS JUST SO STRANGE!! In my heart I am happy for him - But when i break it down... Here is this DORK from our small catholic high school who some teenagers in America and Europe now thinks Poops Gold Music Notes...
It IS really strange... and the memories i have of him just don't fit the glory these girls give him!

A part of me wants to write to this "Hello Kitty" Lovin' doofesses:

"Dear little 15 year old Ashley (or whoever) who runs this site,
yes, 'HornBall' is a dreamboat and he is a good musician... but when i was just a little bit older than you are now... i was dating him - and he was very angry because i never put out. one day- several months after we broke up. I was in his same town - just a few blocks away and my car died. i didn't really know anyone else, and I called him up to ask him to come and drive me to my apartment (only 10 minutes from where i was). He was kind enough to do so. but then he thought that because he did that - i should repay him by letting him subject me to unwanted sexual activity. luckily, i was able to talk him out of it and get back to my room safely... think he is great now?"

See... now that I write that I think :
"yea, it ain't a lie - but.... That just seems so ugly and immature... I shouldn't be mad or anything... thats so long ago. I am sure there are things I dont want people to remember about me- because i was a smart-ass teenager too...
I am sure he is a different person now, so that isn't a fair thing to say... "

i am sorry and i take it back.

Me, Otis, and Monkey...

... before my recent hair cut...

Life Is Good -- (knock on wood) --

And so I say again.... Life is Good...

anyway things seem to be going pretty well at the moment. work has been quite, quite hectic... and so it has hindered my entries to the blog - because i don't have time during my "lunchbreaks" and when i get home i want no part of computers or the like.... my retinas are burning....

but parents seperation aside - things are going splendidly! things at (my) home are wonderful, feeling happy, feeling healthy, weather is getting to be nicer and i am excited for spring! dogs are well, making new friends at work, begining a new diet and exercise regimine... feel like i am finally catching up on bills and such...

chris and i are making a point to be nice to each other... you know - not get stuck in the rut of taking things out on each other.... we both see - from watching our parents - that it does nothing to be mean to your signifanct other. No one wins. so if one of us has the blahs one day - we warn the other and just mind our own business... just watch TV or something but don't bring up any life issues for the rest of the evening, and just wait until a better time.

so far so good on that. we are respecting each other's space a lot more. and thats good....
i feel that trust is building up more - though i still have bouts of fear with it... and that is good step for me personally, because i cant let other people determine my happiness or view of myself.

Last Thursday I was driving home and just decided to get a haircut! well I did, alright!! 4 inches gone!! Boy was that rough - I mean I had deadends, I wanted something different... but i hadn't plan on such a change. When the lady cut that first section of about 3 inches... i actually felt a bit nauscious... but the lady was very good and after a few minutes of getting use to it - i was thrilled... but chris has never seen my hair so short.. and neither had i for MANY YEARS... so I came thru the door to a dropped jaw.... but after 15 minutes he too came around. and now he is quite fond of my new 'do!

Y Valentines day was the best! I have never had anyone send me flowers - or Anything - at work before.... This Valentines I got a lovely carnation arrangement and a fluffy little white teddy bear!! and the best surprise was that it was from my Dad!!

I teared up with joy. Not only was i afraid my dad wouldn't speak to me again, but he hated valentines day! so it was an awesome surprise for me! i called him to thank him and I found out that he sent one to his mom and my mom, as well. i guess he was doing some thinking... I love my dad SO Much! Y
I went home to find Chris had cooked a WONDERFUL curry chicken meal , - with Champagne chilled on the table... and then some Godiva Chocolate Liquior Milkshakes for dessert. Then we had a relaxing evening of taking turns giving back rubs and I got control of the TV until 10pm!!! You have no idea how big a deal that is at my house! Then we all snuggled up in the new fluffy feather blanket that Margo gave us and went to sleep!

Besides that things are good... bumped into old pals i haven't seen in a while.... spent 2 evening hanging out with my brother and his girlfriend... once at their place, once at ours... i just have to keep remembering to be more positive then negative and ignore the things i haven't any control over... done good on that for a few weeks now, so hopefully I'll keep it up...

but its hard when life gets in the way... Y