What are you doing New Year's Eve?

Maybe it’s much too early in the game

Ah, but I thought I’d ask you just the same

What are you doing New Year’sNew Year’s Eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night

Welcoming in the New YearNew Year’s Eve

Maybe I’m crazy to suppose

I’d ever be the one you chose

Out of a thousand invitations

You’d receive

Ah, but in case I stand one little chance

Here comes the jackpot question in advance

What are you doing New Year’sNew Year’s Eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night

Welcoming in the New Year

New Year’s Eve

...Fools in Love are Zeros...

"Fools in Love" - joe jackson, 1979
Fools in love, well are there any other kind of lovers?

Fools in love, is there any other kind of pain?

Everything you do, everywhere you go now

Everything you touch, everything you feel

Everything you see, everything you know now

Everything you do, you do it for your lady

Love your lady, love your lady

Love your lady, love...

Fools in love, are there any creatures more pathetic?

Fools in love, never knowing when they've lost the game

Everything you do, everywhere you go now

Everything you touch, everything you feel

Everything you see, everything you know now

Everything you do, you do it for your lady

Love your lady, love your lady

Love your lady, love...

Fools in love they think they're heroes

'Cause they get to feel no pain

I say fools in love are zeros

I should know...

I should know because this fool's in love again

Fools in love, gently hold each others hands forever

Fools in love, gently tear each other limb from limb

Fools in love they think they're heroes

'Cause they get to feel no pain

I say fools in love are zeros

I should know...

I should know because this fool's in love again

three entries in one day...

So this is blog entry number three for the day - as I keep daydreaming and thinking of things to note....

meanwhile I might not be SO daydreamy if I had a bit of work to do today - but seeing as how there are probably 8 people (rotating) at work this week (people took off from Christmas to new years) that just ain't much to do...

back to the tale...
so I went off to eat Mexican last night with Chris - and we also stopped by the sporting goods store to pick up his *Christmas Present* which is a exercise thing-a-ma-bob.

I know that it is a thing that you can hang on, do pull ups on, leg curls and stuff... but I don't know the official name -- anyway it is dreadful looking.

Why? Because this big metal thing is going into my apartment... I refuse to allow it in the living or dining rooms.... Space and "feng shui" issues... But that means it must then go into the bedroom... urgh!!

Chris thinks that I am not "sharing" as he pays for half of the space we live in -- and so there should be his stuff in there too....
But THERE IS plenty of his stuff.... but none so bulky, unattractive!!

My feeling is that the living room is usually over run with him and the dogs watching manly DVD's and playing rough, smoking cigars, and being boys 90% of the time.... While my only quite, girlie time is spent in the bedroom... which is neat, organized, has smelly candles and the sort...

So now to bring this exercise equipment into my quite place messes up my area -- goodness knows he runs things in the living room - why cant I have the bedroom?!

Anyway - that is my feeling on the subject - and when I go home tonight one of two things will happen:

1) that metallic monster will be up and in my room and a huge eye sore- and I'll have to try to re-arrange the room to bring it back to a more welcoming area for me...

2) he will have pulled all the stuff out of the box to begin to put it together and then have gotten hungry - forgot it all and then when I return home there will be disarray in the bedroom... Again I'll have to sort it out and he'll be bothered with my attitude to it all.....

Men :)

Pee-Wee's Playhouse

So for Christmas - Chris got us the Complete Pee-Wee's Playhouse TV Series on DVD...

My first reaction was a mixture of reminiscent of childhood TV programming - and disdain for the weird pervert...

But there it was - and we popped it in the ol' DVD player to see if it is was all that we remembered!!

Sadly - It was...

...While it had moments of campiness and cheese - I laughed at things I laughed at as a kid - and then jokes I didn't get as a kid - but then understood why my dad liked watching it with my little brother and I all those years ago... ahh, the frequent use of double entendre!

This fantasy playhouse - with talking furniture, animation, silly behavior, and a little moral lesson at the end... and of course The Secret Word!!!! AaaaaaHhhhhhhh!!

Yes - we watched and grinned at the antics of characters like Chairry, Pterri, Conky, Jambie the Genie, Ms. Yvonne, Cowboy Curtis, Capt. Carl, the talking Flowers and Fishes, and my favorites - The Puppet Blues Band- Dirty Dog, Kool Kat, and Chickie Baby!!

Then I did something I never did as a child -- I watched the fast rolling credits at the end of the show... and there flashed by my little hazel eyes the names Todd Rundgren, Dweezil Zappa, and Danny Elfman - And Cyndi Lauper sang the Theme Song!! Who knew it? Not I, any way - but they were very involved in the Music composition of the Show - its theme and little music interludes!!
Of course great actors and writers were involved in the show: Phil Hartman, S. Epatha Merkerson, William Marshall, Laurence Fishburne, John Paragon, Gilbert Lewis, and many, many more!!

What a great show that was! Very Wacky - Creative, Different, and Fun!!
And now - It is an icon of sorts... Pee-Wee's Playhouse...

Mekka Lekka Hi-Mekka Hiney Ho!

....me....

I smile.
I cry.
I laugh.
I worry.
I care deeply.

I complain.
I am honest.
I am sensitive.
I hope.
I dream.
I believe.
I am fair.
I am blunt.
I have faith.
I look for a solution.
I love unconditionally.
I am silly.
I grieve.
I give.
I am clumsy.
I take.
I am strange.
I am weak.
I am witty.
I am strong.
I have compassion.
I am different.
I have ideals.
I am talented.
I am creative.
I fuss.
I reason.
I am grateful.
I organize.
I understand.
I talk.
I have freckles.
I am nosy.
I love animals.
I am playful.
I am bossy.
I am kind.

I am moody.
I accept.
I forgive.
I know a little bit about everything.
I don't know a lot about any one thing.
I would give everything.
I forget my worth.

Christmas Passed...

Ah - Monday.... yawn & harumph!

Back at work but still thinking of Christmas. Which went pretty well, considering the weirdness of the family situation - but... overall it was very pleasant! While there were some ridiculous - and even sad moments - I am trying to focus on the Good and Positive things of the holiday --- especially since the good outweighed the bad :)

It is always so sad when you build up for Christmas coming.... the whole month long - and then... suddenly about 6pm on Christmas Day you realize its done... the excitement is over, and there is a whole 'nother year to wait for that feeling again...

But friends & family being on their *best* behavior and having a feast - gift giving, and all the things that make you warm and happy inside.... its VERY worth it!

I love the smells of Christmas - I love the hope that Christmas brings - I love the whole season!

But it isn't just about the food, gifts, and memories... Its about a greater gift that we were all given - It is about faith, forgiveness, and love.

Sometimes that is forgotten amongst the hustle of shopping, wrapping, baking, traveling....
It is about God's love - and NOT Xmas... but Christmas!!

Overall, I feel very grateful for this Christmas Eve and Day - and the time I spent with my loved ones.

Now on to New Year's...... yikes...

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that

another person lives, acts, and experiences other than we do...?
~Friedrich Nietzsche

Today in History - December 21

1620 - The Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock.

1937 - Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs opens.

1940 - Frank Zappa is born.

Today - December 21, 2004 -

is the first official day of Winter!

And, Baby ... Its Cold Outside!!

"There Is A Reason" - alison krauss

I've seen hard times and I've been told

There isn't any wonder that I fall

Why do we suffer, crossing off the years

There must be a reason for it all

I've trusted in You, Jesus, to save me from my sin

Heaven is the place I call my home

But I keep on getting caught up in this world I'm living in

And Your voice it sometimes fades before I know

Hurting brings my heart to You, crying with my need

Depending on Your love to carry me

The love that shed His blood for all the world to see

This must be the reason for it all

Hurting brings my heart to You, a fortress in the storm

When what I wrap my heart around is gone

I give my heart so easily to the ruler of this world

When the one who loves me most will give me all

In all the things that cause me pain

You give me eyes to seeI do believe but help my unbelief

I've seen hard times and I've been told

There is a reason for it all

Comfort and ...

Trust

Christmas

Chai Tea

as i sip my Chai Tea here at my desk - i feel compelled to list some things that are running thru my little mind at this moment...

i am grateful.

i am grateful for:

* holidays that make you feel warm and fuzzy - because they not only stir up great emotions and memories - but because they mean something deeply to you in your heart and soul.

* the tingly feeling you get on your skin when you remember a happy or loving moment in your life - and you can recall it so clearly, and with such detail, thaat you feel that tingly feeling run from your head out to your fingers and toes.

* the joy that people get from proudly decorating their home with lights and sweet things during christmas - sharing it with everyone to enjoy.

* being the most happy because you are thinking about how to make someone else happy - thoughtfully picking out gifts that will bring joy to them... or at least you hope :)


We should feel so special all year long!

O Tannenbaum

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie treu sind deine Blätter.
Du grünst nicht nur zur Sommerzeit,
Nein, auch im Winter, wenn es schneit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie treu sind deine Blätter.

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
du kannst mir sehr gefallen.
Wie oft hat nicht zur Weihnachtszeit
Ein Baum von dir mich hoch erfreut.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
du kannst mir sehr gefallen.

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
dein Kleid will mich was lehren:
die Hoffnung und Beständigkeit
gibt Trost und Kraft zu aller Zeit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
dein Kleid will mich was lehren.

O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
dein Kleid will mich was lehren:
die Hoffnung und Beständigkeit
gibt Trost und Kraft zu aller Zeit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
dein Kleid will mich was lehren.

More to Ponder

It has had a few days to sink in - and I think I am going to be okay with being 26 years old, though I still have my worries.

For example... this is my last year in my "mid-twenties". Next year I will be in move to my "late twenties". The Mid-20's are said to be the best... you are at your prime in many minds - its your peak, supposedly. And what awaits me next is my thirties. Yikes...

Somedays I feel just as helpless as a 12 year old girl and at other times I feel as though I am just a goofy 18 year old... and there are the days that I already feel 35...

I am sure EVERYONE goes through these feelings...


Do you notice that when you reach a certain age, people have various expectations about where you should be in life? Very often I feel like a responsible adult on the outside - and a scared child on the inside.

I have a respectable job, own a car, share a very nice apartment with my boyfriend of over a year, I have 2 wonderful puppies, and enjoy watching educational programing and making artsy crafts (or trying to). In the last few years I have had a greater respect for my parents and what they went thru to raise my brother and I, and I try to manage my bills.

But I am not engaged or married, I have no children or plans for any, I have little to no savings, I don't have anything that will grow in value - like antiques, property, or stock... I look forward to seeing the Real World, Sponge Bob, Looney Tunes, and other silly shows.

I am smack dab in the middle of teenage angst and midlife crisis. I don't necessarily feel unhappy or that I am missing out, but I sometimes feel I should be doing something else.

So is the Mid-20s and Late-20s meant to be among the best years of our lives?
I found this quote on the internet somewhere:

"Twentysomethings face an overwhelming number of choices regarding careers, finances, living situations, and relationships. This period is, in fact, a whirlwind of new responsibilities and freedoms that can make young people feel helpless, indecisive, and panicked."

THAT IS JUST HOW I AM FEELING NOW!!
And with my parents split - I think it has really highlighted those feelings in me.

For the past year I have had an internal struggle with:
- figuring out a direction for myself/life 
  - figuring/shaping my personal identity and spiritual beliefs
- dealing with my true value and trying to sort through my shortcomings    
  - making adult decisions/choices for myself and my future
- balance the aspects of personal and professional life   

Guess What -- I still have no answers.... I have a feeling no one ever does.
So - I suppose that's really what life is about -- trying to sort it out best for you, and treat everyone you see how you want to be treated. Love your friends, family - live a good and honest life - and have faith in your heart...

Otherwise you worry about turning 27 next December... and then 30 - 40 - 50....

happy birthday

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear me-eee
Happy Birthday to me....